2 years

2 years ago today our sweet Oliver was born.

2 years ago today I was still happily pregnant and had no idea what that evening would bring.

2 years ago today we lost our sweet son.

October 4th is going to be a hard day for us for the rest of our lives, but we're trying to make it a positive day as well.

We got to meet our precious little boy that day and spend some of the most sacred sweetest hours together.

This week has been so hard knowing that today was coming, and has been a week filled with emotions.

We miss Oliver SO much.

There is a notable absence in our family without him here that I am so keenly aware of everyday.

I can't wait for the day when our family can be reunited and finally feel whole again, what a wonderful day!

We long for him to still be here with us, but at the same time, if we hadn't lost him that day, we wouldn't have Penelope today.

Lots of conflicting emotions there, but it just proves that everything happens how it is supposed to.

We know that we will see Oliver again, and that he is still very much a part of our family, even if he isn't physically here with us.

We're still not sure how we're going to celebrate his birthday, Evan and I have school all day, then his mission reunion tonight.

I think afterwords we'll find somewhere to get a cupcake (or something) light some candles and celebrate that way.

It will be so sweet to include Penelope this year :).

Our children will always be aware of their older brother, what a great blessing he is to our family, and we'll always have a celebration to remember him.

I love my little man so much, and the knowledge that one day I'll be able to see him again, give him a big hug and cry as I hold and kiss him makes my heart leap with joy.

Oh how I can't wait for that day, on the hard days it's what I think about to keep me going.

I can't believe it's been two years.

But every day further from when we held him in our arms, is a day closer to when we get to see him again.

Momma loves you so much Oliver, and so does Daddy and Penelope.

I promise we'll all be together again, this life is such a short time in all of eternity, and then we'll have forever together.

Kisses and great big hugs :).